Envision a room in your home, where you don’t feel connected
Take your time. It could be your bedroom or your home office. Maybe it’s a little cluttered, with blank walls or meaningless decoration. Maybe it’s a room with left-over furniture, items that don’t have any other place to “live”. You’re indecisive about what’s going or staying – even unsure of the purpose of the room…
Now, I would ask you to do the 4 walls exercise with me, but first you must do the following:
1) Find 6 images of what you dislike (things that do not represent your values) in a room that is like the one you actually want to work with. I learned that it is easier to identify what we dislike (rational thoughts) than figuring out what we LOVE (follow our heart).
2) Then find 6 images of how you would really LOVE to live if anything was possible (fearless creativity).
3) Finally, find 6 happy photo memories from your life or work. This opens your heart and provides hints of your life’s purpose.
This visual tool helps us overcome the challenges of verbally expressing what we dislike and like.
It’s more fun, faster, and it makes us feel safer.
Next, we move on to do the 4 walls exercise. You stand in front of each wall in the room that you want to decorate and record a video while you describe what you HATE and what you LOVE in each wall. This is a juicy process because you are alone, and you are not being interrupted or judged so your heart spills out! If you live with other people, they too will get their chance to pour their heart out in the same way.
While I listen to the descriptions, I look for the limiting thoughts we can work on.
When you do this, listen with an open heart as you seek to understand the pain of your own needs when they’re not being met, and listen for your limiting thoughts, the roadblocks. If you live with a partner or other family members, do the same with them, and write it all down.
You’ll be surprised what an honest, fearless heart is allowed to express about colors, furniture, lamps, handbags and crystal collections without being shamed or interrupted by the other!
This is where home design changes into House-Coaching™: Life coaching tools and empathy are added to the foundation of design to create a nurturing home that meets all the human needs of its inhabitants.
I learned these tools when I was trained by Martha Beck to become a life coach myself. I learned to inquire and dissolve limiting thoughts such as the ones our friend Alas, from Poland, was experiencing. You can see how I helped Alas to unravel all the feelings and thoughts that were keeping her from moving on, reconnecting to herself, and finding comfort in her own home, by watching this video:
When you learn to discover and dissolve your limiting thoughts you become fearlessly creative with the spirit of your inner child, you begin to decorate for FUN… as home design is not a religion with rigid design rules!
My purpose, and the aligned purpose of my House-Coaches™, is to make the world a better place for all to live, love and grow…one person, one room at a time!